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the future is here
It was fifth grade for me. I was in fifth grade when I could no longer hide my secret. I had spent the last year or more voluntarily sitting near the front of the classroom, cheating on my school-administered eye exams and squinting my eyes to attempt to produce better vision. But in fifth grade, my charade was over. I…
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friends like this
Do you have friends like this? Friends who sit in your living room and hear the worst days of your lives. Not leave. Not blink. Not get up and exit. But stay. Remain. Listen. Stay. Remain. Listen. Repeat. Over and over again. As often as necessary. More often than necessary. Do you have friends like that? Oh my goodness. I…
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Well Lookee Here . . .
I know I cannot share these types of stories forever. And I won’t. I promise. (Really, sons. I promise. I do.) (It isn’t about poop. But it is about body parts.) Wee little man body parts. Today was a big day for our little Otto Fox Wilder. Indeed it was. A day which surely occurs in the life of every…
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If You Are What You Eat – Then I’m In Trouble
Sometimes I like to describe my day by sharing a ridiculous true-life incident. And sometimes I get a kick out of breaking down the day’s events into numbers. But today? Today I am going to cruise down a new avenue. I think I’ll chronicle my yesterday according to what food items I consumed. How do you like them apples? (Them…
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Are we predictable?
Unpredictable. That’s what it seems our life is. (Well. Everyone’s life is. Sort of.) But especially ours. Or at least it seems so lately. Like uber unpredictable. Wildly unpredictable. Over the top unpredictable. More unpredictable than anyone else’s. Do they give a prize for unpredictability? We win. Okay. It’s not really all that unpredictable. Maybe just average unpredictable. Maybe just…
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Story. The Middle.
I keep talking about Story. (The conference we attended. Not just “story” in general. Or – maybe that too.) It was so much good information. And so much good information takes me a while to process. One speaker – this guy – talked about the similar nature of every story. How every story follows the same pattern. Beginning. Middle. End.…
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the gift of boundaries
Real creativity thrives within well-defined boundaries. I first realized this truth when I was teaching writing to junior high students. “Write a poem about any topic you would like,” I announced. “No limits,” I gleefully told those fifteen or so blank-eyed barely-teenagers. Hands were raised. Puzzled looks increased. The poems that were turned in the next day were…
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easy resolve
The quick fix. The no-hassle solution. The simple way out. Do these exist? I just want one situation in my life – one impossible situation in my life – to have an easy resolve. (I don’t even care which problem, really. Pick any of them.) Kind of like a Get out of Jail Free card in Monopoly. One easy resolve.…
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I’ll Pay Your First Therapy Session, Son
I might have witnessed Hawkeye’s first discussion in his future therapy session. I should have known. I was warned at the bedroom door by the first sentry. Mosely, with arms flailing the air. “You don’t want to go in there!” As I approached “there” (a.k.a. the closet) I heard scuffling and I felt a hand trying to keep the door…
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It’s Not So Mysterious
I have three brothers. We grew up on the same dairy farm in Virginia. We had the same parents all of our lives. But despite all that we are pretty different people. We grew up the same but we grew up different. And I used to think that was so mysterious. So hard to comprehend. I kept asking the question .…
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Autopilot
Have you ever driven some route, some route so familiar, that when you reach your destination you cannot even remember the path you took to get there? You know you must have taken a right at the gas station but you do not even recall seeing the gas station? It is as if you are on autopilot. That’s me. That’s…
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also said out loud
Yes. People have made ludicrous statements to me. But I guess I should not judge them too harshly. Because I am guilty of letting some pretty ridiculous statements fly from my tongue more often than not. Statements such as these . . . No, I will not peel your banana right now. Because I am sitting on the toilet. No,…
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30 seconds
Kevin just wanted thirty seconds. That’s not much. Seriously. It isn’t anything actually. 30 seconds. All this father of six asked for was thirty seconds of calm and relative quiet at our dinner table. (Is that what the soundtrack of your life sounds like too?) Anyway. 30 seconds. Kevin explains the rules in his official Dad Voice. No talking. (He…
