photo dump. true and false.

We are home.

The Suburban has been unloaded.

Two loads of laundry have been washed.

I’m going to unload a plethora of photos on you.

And relay a few true/false statements for you as well.

Get comfy, here we go.

Hiking is a fantastic whole-family-inclusive activity. True.

The predicted rain ruined our first day of outdoor adventure.  False.

Hiking with a guide allows you to learn details you would not otherwise know.  True.

There is a tree called the black birch whose branches taste like spearmint and can serve as a natural mouth freshener. True.

Our N.O.C. guide, Charles, taught us this.  True.

Charles made a friend of Piper the moment he offered her a share of his trail mix.  True.

Bergen follows directions precisely and carefully, even in the woods.  False.

The N.O.C. photographer took about a bazillion photos of the kids hiking and I cannot wait to see how his shots turned out.  True.

The rock climbing wall at The Great Outpost was London’s favorite activity. True.

She methodically and carefully scaled the wall more than half way up.  True.

London loved the shirt I chose for her to wear that day as well.  She never complained once about it.  False.

Piper Finn bravely attempted the wall wearing her tiny rock climbing shoes.  True.

Bergen surprised us all and loved the heights he reached while attempting to scale the wall. False.

I shimmied up the wall as if I was born to climb fake walls while tied to a series of cords held by a dude on the ground below me.  False.

I spent all of our children’s college education savings on Columbia gear and cute hiking skirts for myself.  False.

I now know what I want for my next three birthdays and Christmas gifts. True.

Columbia even manufactures hiking shirts for Otto’s size, despite the fact that he cannot take long hikes unassisted.  True.

I coveted dressing my not-yet-two-year-old son in said clothing garments.  True.

Otto Fox is now the proud owner of a miniature backpack where he can stash his blanket and his stuffed fox.  True.

Fox calmly accepts it when he is required to take off his backpack to be buckled into his car seat.  False.

The bag was adorable, but the purchase was a done deal when we realized that the word “home slice” was embroidered on the pack.  True.

Gatlinburg is a charming town with loads of incredible and tasty dining options.  False.

Pancake Pantry was the only restaurant at which we dined that actually delivered what it promised. True.

Employees at the Gatlinburg shops were courteous and pleased to serve us.  False.

America needs more souvenir shops and beef jerky outlets.  False.

Kevin (the man I married, the father of my children, the adult with whom I embarked upon this adventure) wrote a hilarious post today about Gatlinburg. True.

You should read it.  True.

When you recognize a particular brand name of a store, say Edy’s, for example, it is safe to assume that the establishment will be reputable and tidy.  False.

At least once per year parents should forget general health guidelines and allow their children to consume copious amounts of shaved ice tinted blue.  True.

There were a few streets that we enjoyed traversing in downtown Gatlinburg.  True.

Everyone in our family, minus me, can fit into one telephone booth.  True.

Allowing your children to all choose one souvenir item is a good idea.  True.

Particularly when your children chose cute tiny owls that you know they will play with later on.  True.

And plunking down $27 for an airbrushed shirt featuring a penguin for your oldest daughter is a wise use of money. False.

Trolley service in Gatlinburg is reliable and on time. False.

Hearing Piper explain that the trolley was her favorite part of our trip because she loved sitting in Daddy’s lap and looking out the window was worth the thirty minute slow ride.  True.

The Keigley family will make Gatlinburg a regular annual vacation spot.  False.

The Keigley family loved the time spent out of doors and on the water and in the trail. True.

Despite the gaudiness of downtown Gatlinburg’s strip, our trip was a fun get-away where we smiled and talked and laughed and enjoyed one another’s company.  True.