This Week. Feeling ALL the Pressures.

On December 23rd I closed my computer.

I set it inside a cabinet and I left it there.

That was the best.

Five days later, I wish I could never see it again.

That’s how I am feeling right now.

At the same time, I put up my calendar and my lists and my little notebook where I write down every single thing I need to do or I need to think about.

Today I am dragging those things out reluctantly and I am rebelling and raging against these priorities and tasks and roles in my life.

I’m having the mental equivalent of a two year old’s tantrum – all out crying, feet stomping the ground, asking why at the top of my lungs.

I don’t want to pick any of it up again.

Do you know what I mean?

Is it just this weird week?

Is it just the incredibly exhausting nature of this entire off brand year?

Is it dread of what’s next?

A hope that it’s a different sort of future but a sick to my stomach sense that there’s only more of the same on the road ahead?

It is the heavy awareness of the endless march of time as London’s senior year speeds on at a reckless pace? (And then, there’s exactly zero time to catch my breath as Mosely and Bergen follow her so closely year after year.)

Is it a painful look at the reality of the fact that I have too many irons in the fire to watch the temperature of any of them accurately?

I should probably just close this computer and start again in two weeks.

Except, you know, who has the luxury to let that happen?

How are you coping with this in between week?

How are you feeling about the days ahead and the day behind?

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