God's Pursuit of Me,  Story

words.

March 19, 2015 /

There are so many words I need to say.

And I can’t say.

Or words I want to say.

But I shouldn’t say.

It’s a jumble up here in my brain most all of the time.

My days just don’t look like they used to.

(I should win a prize for making understatements.)

My heart cries out every day – “How long O Lord – how long?”

How long will you listen to my young children repeat the same prayers, word for word, night after night?

It has been vital to me during this season of suffering to tell myself truths.

To say them out loud.

Not to wait until I believe them.

Not to wait until I feel them.

Goodness no – not to wait for feelings.

That’s too dangerous and foolhardy by far.

To say the truth that I can claim while simultaneously asking Jesus to help my unbelief.

That’s what I’m doing.

At breakfast, lunch and dinner.

In my prayers with the kids before bed and in my heart as I force my feet to hit the floor in the trembling morning hours.

Truth.

On repeat.

I say these truths about Jesus.

You are God.

You are good.

You are real.

You are enough.

You sustain.

You rescue.

You carry.

You see.

You know.

You care.

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11 Comments

  • Joyce Harris

    March 20, 2015 at 10:40 am

    Lacey, I’ve read you blog and hurt with you, I pray for you and you babies all the time,
    Isa. 26:3-4
    You will keep him in perfect peace ,
    Whose mind is stayed on you,
    Because he trusts in You,
    Trust in the Lord forever.
    For in Yah, the Lord is everlasting strength..
    Isa. 40:10
    Fear not for I am with you:
    Be not dismayed for I am your God.
    I will strengthen you,
    Yes, I will help you,
    I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.
    God Bless Lacey..

  • Angel Hayes

    March 20, 2015 at 12:18 am

    Lacey I’m not sure if you remember me (We met at Karen’s funeral) but I pray for you and your children every day. I know you have plenty of love, prayers and support from everywhere but I just wanted you to know I’m praying for you every day. I can also feel the pain and disbelief in your words because I have been where you are now. God held me up when I couldn’t do it myself and I’m sure He is doing the same for you.

    • laceykeigley

      March 23, 2015 at 3:56 am

      I do remember you.

      Thank you for praying.

      And I am sorry you have been where I am – I certainly would not wish that on anyone.

  • Beth

    March 19, 2015 at 1:06 pm

    Amen, to Chelsea and Sara’s words/prayers. So powerful. I’m printing them and praying the same for you now, Lacey!! Thank you for sharing your heart. You are so precious.

  • Chelsea

    March 19, 2015 at 11:55 am

    That was beautiful, Sara. Yes to those prayerful words. Father, please defend them, protect them, redeem this, restore them. Give peace, give joy. We are trusting in You for You are our only hope.

  • Sara

    March 19, 2015 at 11:05 am

    “Plead Lacey’s cause, O Lord.
    Take up Your shield and spear.
    Arise and help her.

    Say to her soul
    (over and over she needs to hear it):

    I Am
    Your salvation.

    Don’t let satan win. (He is the enemy.) Put him to disgrace and ruin. Turn
    him back.
    Make his path dark and slippery.
    Let him become entangled in the net
    (of confusion) spread for Lacey and
    fall into the pit (of fear and
    depression) dug for her.

    Then her soul will rejoice in The Lord.
    And will delight in His salvation.
    Her whole being will exclaim:
    Who is like You, O Lord?
    You rescue me from those who are
    too strong.

    There are those who repay Lacey evil
    for good
    And leave her soul forlorn.
    They slander her.

    O Lord, how long will You look on?

    Rescue her precious life.
    She gives thanks to You.

    O Lord, be not silent.
    Be near Lacey.
    Awake and rise to her defense.
    Contend for her.
    Vindicate her.

    Your steadfast love is as great as all
    Heavens, O Lord.
    Your faithfulness reaches beyond the
    clouds.
    Your righteousness is like mighty
    mountains.
    Your justice is like the deep oceans.
    O Lord, you preserve us all.

    How excellent is Your loving-
    kindness.
    All men find refuge in the shadow
    of Your wings.
    They feast in abundance and drink
    from Your river of delights.

    You are the Fountain of Life.

    In Your Light we see Light.

    Continue to love Lacey.
    She knows You.
    -from Psalm 35,36

    Sending so much love and prayers