Ten Ways To Know You Are The Parents of Big Kids

When we visited the beach a few years ago without pack and plays and booster seats, we knew we were ending an era.

As I watched the last wee one morph from baby to toddler to little fella, I knew the inevitable passage had occurred.

We are the parents of Big Kids.

Are you in the club too?  The Big Kid club?

Here’s a little list of ten ways to tell you are now the parents of Big Kids.

1.  You do not require the use of baby nail clippers for the trimming of tiny digits.  In fact, half of the time the kids have handled all that fingernail and toe nail grooming themselves.

2.  Bath time no longer means you spend a soggy half hour reaching into the tub and wiping watery eyes and consoling teary bathers.  You can say to your eight year old – “Please go take a shower.”  Your ten year old says, “I need to take a shower.”  All you have to do is to provide a bath towel and keep the soap and shampoo in supply.

3.  The kids keep you on a time schedule.  Yes – they can now tell time.  “Mom – it’s 8 o’clock.  Shouldn’t we be in the car already?”

4.  The kids help you follow the rules.  Yes – they can also read now.  “The speed limit says 45.  Are you going 45?”  “This menu says the kids meal is only for nine and under.  I’m ten.”  “That sign says we shouldn’t park here.”

5.  Their arguments are so much more logical. Gone are the days of – “But I waaaaaaant to eat cereal for every meal.”   “Why can’t I have cookies for dinner?”   “I neeeeed that.”  “I like to wear princess dresses to  the pool.”   Now they say things like – “Wouldn’t it be wiser if we stayed at home to eat dinner?  You can cook us a delicious meal for less than the cost of a pizza.”  “It doesn’t seem to make any sense to straighten our beds daily when we are going to get them messy so soon.”

6.  Their questions are harder to answer.  I remember when the questions I was mostly asked were “Can we play outside?”  “Will you button my jacket?”  “Can I eat that banana?”  “Do you want to color with me?”  Now the questions stack up like “Do you think we will live in South Carolina forever?”  “Why aren’t her parents married any more?”  “Are you sad your mother can’t know us?”

7.  The kids legitimately help you live life better.  I would give our toddlers “jobs” to help out Mommy – putting away toys, straightening pillows.  Now the kids have proper daily lists – of real tasks – and they serve our family well this way.  They clean entire rooms, unload the dishwasher, feed the animals, take out trash.  It’s actually conducive to running a home smoothly.

8.  You have genuine conversations with them.  When you sit across the breakfast table from your toddler you talk about dreams or dinosaurs or unicorns.  You talk about applesauce and toast and happy hearts.  When you sit across the breakfast table with your eight year old you talk about books you’ve both been reading.  You talk about summer vacation approaching, about barn owls and their habitats.  You talk about a whittling project he’s been imagining and the hope of spring hikes.

9.  You can actually use the restroom without someone walking in the door.  Big kids do not want to see their parents use the restroom.  They finally are beginning to appreciate the desire for privacy.  If they accidentally open the door – they cover their eyes and run the other way.

10.  You are constantly reminded of both their former little-ness and their future even-bigger-ness.  These kids are in this glorious limbo.  They are testing their limits.  They are questioning the powers that be.  But they are trekking a path to freedom and flying away.  They are helpful.  They are interesting.  But they’re still your babies.

I like being the parents to Big Kids.  But, if this parenting gig has taught me anything, I know better than to try to hold too tightly to this era.  It’s on a short term lease to me, just like all the other parenting seasons.