this morning’s struggle.

Have you ever just woken up under?

Feeling somehow less than ready?

Not just for what the day demands,

but for what life demands?

For me, that’s today.

That’s this morning.

A combination of bad mojo stacked against me.

A coughing, weird-breathing London crawled into bed beside me and I was still wide awake at one o’clock in the morning, sleeping on about six inches of bed and having to fight to recover my share of the blankets.

Already dressed in my running gear, I had to bail out on my 6 a.m. running date with my group because I knew my fatigue was too great .

Crawled back into my ever-shrinking side of the bed.

What sleep remained was riddled with unpleasant dreams.

And I know today will be a battle.

To maintain focus.

To not allow myself to be swallowed by three hungry monsters sitting on my steps –

the comparison of my life to anyone else’s

the weight of what has been

the fear of what could be

That’s my war front today.

And I am ill-prepared for victory.