Capable
There’s just something about a tiny baby’s hands – isn’t there?
They just look adorable. Sometimes they’re kind of wrinkly and even a little peely. (I just coined that word. For the record.)
Honestly, as cute as they are though, and as much as I love to kiss them and admire them, they really can’t accomplish much early on. They only grasp what you place in them and they don’t even work really well in unison with one another just yet.
But, man. You just blink a couple hundred times or so and those mini hands morph into something else entirely.
I’ve been noticing the hands of my “bigger” kids lately.
They’re just so sturdy. So busy. So . . . capable.
Our church is teaching a series of parenting workshops right now and I attended one on the topic of training our children to work. On helping our children to understand a work ethic since the majority of us no longer live in an agrarian society where every family works with their hands for their livelihood.
The instructor shared some concepts that she and her husband had gathered from raising their five daughters. About being careful not to set limits on our children. About allowing them to be as capable as they can.
And I think when our children don’t work around our homes, it’s probably because we, as parents, don’t expect them to.
We have low expectations.
We don’t think they are capable.
“She can’t pour her own milk. She’s too little.”
“His room is always a mess, but what can you expect?”
“I always have to pick everything up because no one else knows how.”
“Go watch a show while I make dinner. You are making a mess.”
We think we can do it better, do it faster, do it neater, than our kids can.
And we’re right.
Of course we can.
They’re kids.
But unless we begin to teach them (how to cook, how to fold clothes, where the clean dish towels are placed, how to organize their toys, how a broom operates), then they will never learn.
I have been amazed at what each of our children have been able to learn when I actually take the time (allow the mess, wreck the routine) to teach them new skills.
I’ve seen London feed Fox an entire meal. Watched Mosely neatly fold, stack and put away the kitchen laundry. Had Bergen load the washing machine and set the table. Even Piper loves a job – pushing in the chairs, getting out the cups for dinner, putting the forks out at lunch. Riley can pick, plan and prepare a gourmet meal, complete with an involved dessert and skillfully clean the kitchen afterwards. (She made us chicken fettuccine alfredo just last week. It was delicious.) As a proud little team, London, Mosely and Bergen have unloaded our dishwasher many times. The girls often ask to be allowed to dress Piper in the mornings. Bergen loves to prove that he can make a giant bed – Mommy and Daddy’s bed.
This isn’t, obviously, because my kids are amazing. (Well, I mean, I think they are. Naturally. But you don’t have to. Naturally.)
I bet there’s a billion other things my kids are capable of that I haven’t even yet begun to think of.
And what’s so cool is that allowing our children to do these jobs hardly feels like work to them. It isn’t drudgery. (That will come, I know.) To them – it’s privilege. It’s the stuff “big kids” do.
In fact, I really am convinced that it’s actually empowering.
They feel capable.
Because they are.
11 Comments
Kevin Keigley
That photo is incredible. Incredible.
tiffany
Our kids all have chores each week. They rotate, dishes, laundry, feed animals, trash and bathrooms. Each does to their ability, just like yours, for the given chore. I don't expect Hannah (6) to do as much or as good a job as Wallace (15) at the dishes, but the point is that she is expected to help. As John Smith said, (He was actually quoting Paul, the Apostle) "If you don't work, you don't eat!" That became my motto a few years ago when we studied Jamestown. Of course I feed them even if they did not do a job, but the point is that we were made to work. God intended man to work. And when we do what God made us to do we feel better.
laceykeigley
And I love the way your household runs – you are a homeschooling guru/role model, you know??
Gretchen
That sounds like a wonderful class for you to attend. I would love that!!! Maybe I will just run up there and go with you. How nice! It sounds a little montessori type teaching. Hezekiah has to clean up and set up all his work at school and clean up after himself, but he sees it as being responsible. I need to get on the ball and assign more jobs for them around here. Ha ha ha!!! Isn't that neat how they see it a privilege…….we too should see it a privilege too!!! 🙂 Hope you are doing well. G
laceykeigley
I think often about how cool it would be for us to attend stuff like that together – and I also think often how much you and Page would love our church.
ticcoaleister
For the record–I think your kids are amazing. And so are you. 🙂
laceykeigley
Thanks Ticcoa!!! Thank you.
amy
wow, loved this one. i will seek out little tasks that my kids can do and not get caught up in the amount of mess it will take to make it happen. bay will surely be cleaning toilets by the end of the day. thank you.
laceykeigley
Yeah – maybe we can even figure out some way to get Collier and Otto to carry some stuff on their backs.
jenny rollins
They are capable because they feel capable and feel that they are an important part of the big picture….their family…..so sweet!
laceykeigley
I think you’re right about the big picture idea. Who doesn’t want to be about an important task?
Thank you!