Chaos

Our Loud Return to the Library. (maybe our last. again.)

So.

I avoided the library for the past five months or more.

And that was pretty easy.

But London Scout just won’t stop reading.

And I can’t afford to buy a Judy Moody or a Magic Tree House book for her every two days.

I paid the last fine (I think) and decided that yesterday would be the day Mr. Library and I tried to reacquaint ourselves with one another.

Naturally I took all of our children.

It was late in the afternoon.

The kids behaved very well.

Berg scanned the shelves for books about snakes, spiders and bats.  Piper Finn played a game of giant checkers by herself.  London satisfied her Judy Moody addiction and Mosely donned headphones and played a game on the computer.

And this guy?

Well.

He was two.

And he made a little noise.

Maybe a lot of noise.

Okay.

Here’s the thing.

I am not unaware of the fact that my nearly-two-year-old son is ridiculously loud.

He. Is. Loud.

But at the library, at least, he was happy loud.

(And there’s a gigantic difference between happy loud and angry loud – right?)

Fox was so excited because the library had a play table with plastic lizards that were movable by a small magnet.

He kept shouting, “Gecko!  Gecko!”

(Which is OttoSpeak for “any small moving creature with which I am in love”.)

There were approximately six patrons at the library, other than my family.

I recognize the rules.

I appreciate rules.

By nature, I am a follower of all such posted rules and guidelines for appropriate behavior.

I tried to shush my son.

I hustled the kids into choosing books and preparing to check out.

And as we were loading up our choices, a library employee (let’s call him Smandy to protect his privacy – eh?), approached us.

I thought he might be offering assistance.

(You know, since I was the patron and he was the public servant.)

No.

He wasn’t.

Instead, Smandy wrung his hands, shook his head and anxiously looked at us.

“Are you almost done?  Will you be leaving soon?”

At first I actually assumed he was being considerate.

Pretty certain he was not.

As I checked out our ample supply of books (you know, using the library as a tax-paying citizen is encouraged to do) I apologized to Smandy for Otto’s exuberant noises.

He told me, after a rather heavy sigh, that my son was very loud.

He said this as his co-worker checked us out and as he himself surfed the internet.

I tried to counter him with humor and said, “Yes, he’s two.  I’m sorry though.”

Smandy just awkwardly said, “Well, we try to maintain quiet, sooo . . . ”

I again apologized and asked, “Have you ever found a great way to keep a two-year-old quiet?”

He seriously responded, “Yes. I have.”

My books were stacked high on the counter.  Fox (currently quiet, thank goodness) was in my arms.  London and Mosely were trying to fit the books into the bag.  It was not working.  The two employees continued to converse about whatever product they were perusing online.

“Well,” I replied, “I would love to hear some of those helpful hints,” I told Smandy.

He looked over my head and at my hands and behind me.

Anywhere but in my eyes.

“”Uh.  Sometime.  Well.” Smandy offered.

Thanks Smandy.  Thanks a lot.

I gathered the remaining books as best I could with one free hand and herded the children back to the car.

Great.

Welcome back to the library, I thought.

Seriously, I am not actually offended about an employee asking my son to be quiet.

It’s a library.  The sign says no cell phones and the atmosphere is supposed to be a studious one.

I get that.

But come on, Smandy – can’t you handle that request in a better manner?

Patronizing arrogance seems like it is always the wrong choice.

10 Comments

  • joanna

    oh man this post makes me sad. my sister is a children's librarian and i told her your sad tale. she would like to offer an apology on behalf of her profession. also– i've found that the main branch downtown has MUCH nicer employees. i've recently visited other branches out of convenience and have been met by… well… attitudes. and one more thing- i LOVE reserving things and having them ready for me to pick up. i peruse online, then they are all put together on a hand-dandy shelf and i run in, pick up my stack and check out.

  • Terry

    Wow. What a perfectly awful librarian. You should lodge a complaint. Take a long time doing it. While your wonderful and delightful children wander about – LOUDLY. (Yes, I'm too much of a scaredy-cat to do this if I were in your shoes. But hypothetically I can be a darn spiteful little troll.) Wicked Grin.

  • Marion

    Let me applaud you. My inner (okay, outer) smartaleck would probably NOT have been as gracious.

  • Gretchen

    That is why you were in the children's section!!!! Silly librarian! Thankfully our librarians are super nice in the children's area………..I think they expect it, or at least should. I think you should go every day to make the man upset!!! 🙂 Ha ha ha!

  • Allie Pust

    Ha ha! I've avoided the library for the same reason. The fines and the loud kids I've got. AND Lexie is into the magic tree house books, so I think in the next few days, I'll be in the same boat as you are. Only with a very loud 2-year-old Jadon. So, I'll go with not-so-great expectations of unsuccessfully keeping him quiet, and keep my fingers crossed that Smandy doesn't approach us! Cause I'm not as gracious as you I don't think. =) Sigh. I'd avoid it all together except they have the awesome summer reading program that earns all of us free Greenville Drive tickets and tickets to a water park. And it's worth it for that. I think.

    • LaceyKeigley

      Let's share library days.
      Because, yes, the free stuff at the reading program is completely worth it. (And the only way we afford a water park day at our house!)

      Seriously.
      Let's meet – one of us goes in to the library with kids and one stays at the playground with the loud ones. (The TR branch has a playground right behind it.)

      Did I mention that I was not kidding?

  • Melissa

    I'm sad that you had a negative library experience. I'm an outreach librarian (I drive the children's bookmobile) and I have no expectations about kids maintaining a noise level anything short of eardrum shattering. To me it means they're excited about reading. But I guess I'm a little different: I'm young, I don't have kids, and I myself am loud. A lot of us librarians are, though! I do, however, work in a branch where we have a high rate of theft and problem patron behavior so things like kids being psyched about geckos is a welcome change.

    Is there another branch somewhat close? Maybe you could use that one instead.

    • LaceyKeigley

      I appreciate your sympathy.

      And I am certain your patrons appreciate your attitude.
      Honestly – that's what it all came down to. The attitude.

      There are actually several other branches – I will attempt those one day as well. Maybe for the return-the-books-on-time trip. 🙂