HomeLife

Snap.Shot.

How’s it going around here these days?

Well.

Today I came home from a stacked day full of meetings and a podcast recording and errands and being sure this kid went to that house and that kid conquered that chore and one kid at camp and I don’t even know what else.

I was wrapping up my last meeting of the day. It was at a pizza place, as luck would have it. I was finishing my conversation and ordering a pizza to bring home to the kids who weren’t at camp or at work or at a friend’s house, when one of those at home kids texted me.

“The toilet is about to overflow. What should I do?”

Those are not the words you want to receive via text – or via any other way.

“Get towels?” was my snappy reply.

At the table of my meeting, we all discussed what could be the issue – sewage system or toilet clog? Would I be able to figure it out or would I need a plumber? The cashier wrote down the name of her friend – a great plumber – on a brown napkin. I stacked the number on the napkin on top of my pizza box and headed home for the fun scene that would await me.

At home, no one stepped out to greet me at the car so I gathered my stack – now teetering dangerously high and plenty precarious – hot pizza in a cardboard box, wallet, keys with way too many accessories, phone, a brown bag with a bottle of vodka in it. (Not that it matters, but I bought it today to make vanilla.)

At the door, I kick it with my feet and shout for someone to open it for me.

No one does.

I shift the stack, the phone drops onto the concrete.

Cool. Cool.

Opening the door, prioritizing the glass bottle and the picked up (yes, cracked) phone, I manage to get in. Ryder seizes the opened door opportunity to step out.

At the exact same time, the Fed Ex guy pulls up.

He and Ryder are NOT friends.

We all agree to eat the pizza before we address The Situation.

Turns out, it’s solvable with no plumber needing to be alerted, as far as I can tell. A lot of bleach and me scrubbing my hands for a very very very long time, but it looks like the bathroom is back in operation.

And, that, my friends, is how my life has been going lately.

The end.

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