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I’d Really Like To Know

There are a few questions to which I would love to hear the answers.

Why are we constantly out of toilet paper at this house?

Is the tooth fairy’s going rate for lost teeth really $3 these days?

Why is our trash can perpetually overflowing?

Can we really not find one winter jacket to fit Mosely in our entire home?

Why is every pencil I find unsharpened?

Where is the pencil sharpener?

Why can’t I spread peanut butter on crackers without getting peanut butter on my hands?

Why can’t I make peanut butter crackers without sampling a peanut butter cracker?

What is it about self check out lanes at the grocery store that habitually backfires on me?

Why do I invariably walk into the counters and tables at my own house when I am the person who chose where to put said tables and am continually aware of location of said counters?

Why does Mosely regularly have to use the bathroom on a road trip just after we stopped for London to use the bathroom?

How do you get a seven year old to stop sucking her thumb?

Why does Bergen insist on flinging across the floor anything in his hand when he has exhausted his use of that item?

Is it possible for your son to regulate his bowel movements to interrupt his afternoon nap every day of his life?

Why did I decide to cut off six inches of my hair when it took me a year and half to grow those six inches?

Is universal health care really the solution?

Why do I push snooze on my alarm clock more than four times every morning?

How old do you have to be to stop getting acne? Β For the love!

Should I be worried that my eighteen month old has basically no spoken vocabulary?

Who broke the kitchen cabinet door?

Where is my pink buff?

Well.

Do you have any answers?

Or any questions?

18 Comments

  • tiffany p.

    Ok so I'm a day late and dollar short Lacey but I too have a list but you have to go to MY blog(thislittlefamilyofmine@blogspot.com) (don't worry I'm sending everyone to you for the questions). Ha Ha Ha

  • Jesse Wickstrum

    The only one I would be worried about is the lack of spoken vocabulary of your 18 month old although I can't even identify which child that is anymore.

  • Rhonda H.

    13. Throwing is fun!
    14. Apparently it is!
    15. It was the sheer (get it! a pun! hahahaha! I crack myself up!) thrill of having half a dozen well-behaved children at the appointment. Blame it on the endorphin rush.
    16. I do not think that it is. I do, however, think that better preventative medicine will go a long way to all of us not needing as much health care as we do. Bye bye over-processed food. Hello exercise!
    17. Because you have half a dozen little people to care for. I used to have a hard time getting out of bed just thinking about caring for half that number!
    18. Based on my ex-husband's "adult acne", I'd say the number is 35.
    19. I wouldn't.
    20. I'm pretty sure it was Kevin and I'm pretty sure he'll blame one of the kiddos. That's his way.
    21. If I were a betting woman, I'd say check Riley's room.

    My question – why can't I just post my ENTIRE comment in one comment post? Why must it reprimand me for it being too long? sigh…..

  • Rhonda H.

    10. I do the same thing! When you find the answer to this one, forward it to me ASAP.
    11. It's like yawning. It's contagious. Especially when you're on the road.
    12. People used to ask me if I was going to carry Payton around on my hip forever. It lasted until he was four. Perspective. Said seven-year-old will suck his or her thumb until he or she is done, so just use my "commencement rule". Picture said child walking across the stage to get his or her high school diploma. Do you picture said child doing so with thumb securely tucked into his/her (which kid is it? I'm tired of typing male/female references!) mouth? I didn't think so. I will not be carrying Payton across said stage on my hip, either. Perspective. This too shall pass. (con'd again….you've got to be kidding me!)

  • Rhonda H.

    1. Stop feeding and watering them and you'll stop needing the toilet paper
    2. It's totally cheaper than the "new driver" car insurance rates. Count your blessings, girl.
    3. Because Bergen is not yet old enough to take it out for you.
    4. Layers. Dress her in layers.
    5. Mechanical pencils are the answer.
    6. You wouldn't need one if you bought mechanical pencils. Problem solved! You're welcome!
    7. Peanut butter is a mysterious liquid/solid. It also likes to be the end of the cracker that hits the ground when you drop said cracker.
    8. Because peanut butter is yummy. Duh.
    9. I could write an entire blog post about the self check-outs. It's God's way of telling you that you need to interact with real live human adult people, even if they're 18 and being a cashier is their part-time job.
    (to be continued because apparently my comment is too long….)

    • LaceyKeigley

      What a treat to see your name pop up here.
      Hope you guys are well this year.
      We love to hear about you guys from your dad and pray and think about your family often.

  • nikkie

    no answers, here.

    none.

    mostly, because i am asking many of the same questions.

    seriously, now.

    oh, here's one….

    how does a girl catch a break? just a small one. you know, the one in which momma enters the restroom with a full roll of toilet paper at her disposal…

    i hear ya for sure.

  • Amanda

    oh I wish ihad time to comment on each of these..he he. but your always out of toilet paper because you only buy it on sale when you have a coupon and this only happens once a month and you really need to buy it more often, but you cant stand the fact of paying 6.99 vs 4.99…(this is me im talking about)

  • LaceyKeigley

    Ahh – California time. You get all those extra hours up late after we go to bed.

    My favorite response? #13. Hands down.
    Or – wait – # 4.

  • David T. Robbins

    1. My mom always told me we were out because I was full of crap. I'm not sure what that means.
    2. $4.75 in California (higher taxes)
    3. You have inflamed trash cans. Get that checked out ASAP.
    4. Define "fit".
    5. I bit the tips off.
    6. I lost it. I was gonna tell you but Kevin said no.
    7. Peanut Butter is attracted to skin. It's magnetic.
    8. See #7.
    9. Robots are evil, vindictive creatures. Don't trust them. Unless they buy you stuff.
    10. Kevin did it.
    11. Have you seen the restrooms in America!? What kid WOULDN'T want to check them all out!?!?
    12. Amputate. Sorry. Too far.
    13. If you love something, you set it free. If it's meant to be, Mommy or Daddy will get it for you.
    14. I do.
    15. Millions of people lack arm pit hair. You did it for them.
    16. Only in France.
    17. I really don't have a witty remark for this question.
    18. You have to be dead.
    19. Not at all (and that is me being truthful).
    20. Kevin did it.
    21. I borrowed it. Can I borrow it?

    That was refreshing.