-
The Edge
(This is not a post about U2. Sorry Jane.) I think I live on some precarious edge. Like – right next to a cliff. (You know, like the little old man in Up who wanted to plop his home right down beside the ravine, the waterfall, the danger?) I live there. Or at least, I have been camping there for far too long. And the view is alright, I guess, but the effort and the stress of living right on that edge is wearing me down. And another thing. Because I live so close to that edge I find it really hard to maintain stability. To find a firm footing.…
-
Truth Never Changes
Rearranging is fun. When I rearrange I always seem to find some old treasure. Recently it was a book. Oswald Chambers My Utmost For His Highest. One of those classics that you just keep going back to because it always seems to be relevant. (Even though its original publication date was 1935.) The pages of my copy are crumpled, like I spilled something on it. Dozens of corners are turned down. Magic marker, pen, pencil are scrawled on nearly every page. It’s so old my maiden name is written on the cover in bubbly high school penmanship. (It was a gift from my church when I graduated. From high…
-
Purpose
I like to be happy. I don’t like tears. Or trouble. Or heartache. Or sin. Or putting away laundry. I don’t care for difficult circumstances. Hardship. Strain. Damaged relationships. Dirty houses. Dust. I like peace. Tidiness. Sleeping in. Harmony. Recently at my Bible study our group was talking about the sin of unthankfulness. And how we can be so ungrateful for what we have, for what we have been spared. For where we were born. For grace. All of it. Which started a side conversation about being thankful in all circumstances. Seeing the good that God can work from the bad. Embracing the situation for the shaping powers it possesses,…
-
Saints and Sinners
On a ride in the Suburban recently, the kids and I had a pretty heavy theological discussion. “How do we know who goes to heaven and who goes to hell?” one of my deep thinkers asked. “Well,” I started. Like I usually do. A stalling method I think I have perfected but which I know will have a short shelf life. And Bergen jumps in – “I know that. Good people go to heaven and bad people go to hell.” “Well,” I paused again. “That is not exactly true son. Are you a good person?” He nodded his head yes. “Do you ever do bad things?” I probed. Bergen said,…
-
Little Me
I recently unearthed a leatherish looking white box from under the recesses of our bed. I recognized it immediately. It was my mom’s jewelry box. A coffee ring staining the lid. Soft red lining inside. And I could tell from my kids’ reactions that they were eyeing that treasure chest the exact same way I always eyed it as a kid – like some sort of miracle box o’ wonders. So we spent a morning going through its contents. The golden crab pendant from Mom’s high school – Hampton Crabs. (Yeah, crabs.) The long strings of pearls. The gaudy brooches that must have belonged to another era – I think…
-
Constant
Really, this post is about chaos. And I think the photo demonstrates that fairly well. And it’s funny. And Leanne said she will only read my posts if they are accompanied by a photo. Our house is lived in. It’s comfortable. And we like that. But comfortable can ooze into cluttered faster than Bergen can ride a bike down a hill. And cluttered can morph into chaos with a speed faster than Riley’s fingers can text. Last weekend Kevin and I looked around our home. And it looked like chaos had settled in. I was tired of messy children’s rooms where a child could not play with any particular item…
-
Are You Sure?
I find myself always asking, (repetitively, yes) How can I best serve God? (Right now. In this life. In the present.) And the answer seems to always be given (repetitively, yes) softly in my mind, boldly in my life. By serving the people living at this house. No, no, no. Can’t I do something glamorous?Something big?Exciting?Cool?Highly visible?Dramatic? God,Don’t you need a writer for a really popular magazine?Do you need me to work at a theatre like Flat Rock Playhouse?Do you want me to sell all of my possessions and travel across the country with my family in an RV for you?Do you want me to sequester myself away in some…
-
Enough
Have I ever really believed that God is enough? I mean, I’ve probably said He was. I might have even thought that I believed it. But your beliefs are pretty much revealed through your actions. So. Have I acted like God is enough? Or has my life thus far been mostly a study of how God is not enough? Don’t I really expect God plus? You know, God plus personal fulfillment. God plus healthy children. God plus financial security. God plus physical safety. God plus a happy marriage. That’s the lie I find myself believing, and living, so often. The truth is God is enough. No plus. Just God. Enough.…
-
Read This Book
Turn My Mourning Into Dancing by Henri Nouwen I’m thinking about buying this book in bulk and handing it on the street corners. Seriously. It’s that good. (At least, it’s that good to me right now. And I know books are like that. They seem like miniature miracles when the words hit you when you most need them. ) This book is about suffering. And hope. It is about pain. And grief. And grace. And it is about seeing God in the suffering. Nouwen says, “We do not nurse the illusion that we can hopscotch our way through difficulties. For by trying to hide parts of our story from God’s…
-
What You Want
One morning recently London approached me and out of the blue stated, “Mom, God just doesn’t do what you want.” What? “What do you mean?” I asked. “Well, last night I prayed for God to shut the door and I waited and He just never did it.” I didn’t laugh. Because I didn’t think it was funny. I thought she was right. Sometimes God just doesn’t do what we want. Period. I didn’t try to convince London that God does do just what we ask. Because I don’t think that’s true. And she is young, not dumb. I didn’t try to explain that her demand was illogical. Because to her,…
