Story
One can bear anything if one can put it in a story. - Isak Dinesen
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That Time We Visited a Castle: Glen Eyrie, Colorado Springs
Over three years ago when we were preparing to make our first Lost Valley adventure happen, I was researching places to stay and things to do in Colorado Springs. Glen Eyrie popped up in my searches. It’s stunning – right? I’d heard of it before actually – probably from my dad. Many years earlier Dad and Mom had taken some of us on a journey to Colorado and Wyoming when my oldest brother was getting married in Wyoming. We visited the Flying W Wranglers and their home base was located right outside of Glen Eyrie. (The Flying W was since tragically destroyed in a fire, but…
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residual fall out from divorce and singleness: the bits I forget to talk about
There are many sides, facets, bits and pieces to the narrative of divorce. More layers and levels than the obvious and glaring parts. And there are plenty of aspects that I don’t talk about very often. At least not publicly. I’m not even entirely certain why. I’m an open book sort of person but some thoughts just don’t seem to make their way to the wide world. I carry a verse in my car – by the mirror overhead – that I’ve written down on a little scrap of paper. This weekend I referenced it twice in two different conversations with two different friends about two different…
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1.2.3. What will I carry from Lost Valley this year?
The first year it felt like freedom. It tasted like sunshine and sky. Lost Valley Ranch. A week uninterrupted by the regular. It was like breathing again after being held underwater just to the tip of suffocation, rubbing against the sharp edge of death, a Coming Up For Air. It had been a hard year and a half of loss and shift and pain and betrayal and brutal reclaiming of life. At the ranch I felt a coming clean, a washing off, a shaking down. I felt like someone I wanted to maybe get to know, like someone with a chance. I felt okay – and that…
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In Which I Share a Podcast I Am On
The request arrived in an email. “I’m starting this podcast and I’m telling stories and I’d like you to share yours.” It was from a friend and I knew I could trust him with my story. And also, I haven’t exactly chosen to keep it all under wraps, tidy and secure. I’ve been spilling my guts in a public forum for more than a decade. The telling of the story didn’t worry me as much as the other part of his message. “I’ll need to take some photos for the website if that’s okay.” Ugh. Let me say words all day, no problem. But to pose awkwardly for photos…
Keep Reading . . .
an apology/not an apology
spring madness. it has descended upon us.
I’m over here …
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all the good words (that y’all said)
Man, when I asked earlier this week for you guys to share your lists of what does not get accomplished at your houses, at what waits for the “free time” that never comes, at what is on steady stand still around your place so that maybe I could feel better about the junk lists around my own house, y’all came through. I mean – for real – you DELIVERED. I had more Facebook comments than usual. I got texts with random answers. Emails even. It was THE BEST. And not just because you guys made me feel better. Because it wasn’t actually better that you made…
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these are the things he will do: Isaiah 42:6
I’ll miss this old front porch. (If I ever actually move from this house.) Today I’m sitting on this porch and reading these verses in the Bible. Isaiah 42. All of it. But especially verse 16. I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them. I’m in love with these words. (Don’t worry Dad, they’re too long for a tattoo.) They’re words so full of the unknown – like my…
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friendship
Even when friends directly say the words to my face, sometimes I have a hard time believing them. Even when those friends are gracious enough to write the words down in a held-in-my-own-hand tangible sort of way, I am tempted to doubt their sincerity. You see, I bring a lot of baggage to a friendship. Extra drama. A generous helping of neediness. And my inherent go-to is to assume that people are kind or people are helpful or people stop by born of a pity, akin to the sort you feel when you hand your dollar bills to the man on the street holding a sign. Sometimes I am…
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The God Who Sees
El Roi. It means The God Who Sees. A few years ago the kids and I read a book about the different names of God. I’ve particularly remembered this name. There are moments I feel seen. Moments I can sense the “being known”. Through conversation divinely orchestrated. In a situation so obviously brought about by a grand master plan. In a secret tiny care being met even though I never spoke it aloud. At those times it’s as if God is speaking in an audible voice and saying, “There you are. I see you.” And then there are moments I feel unseen. Moments I force myself to repeat the…
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Why What We Think About Our Sheriff’s Adultery Actually Matters
It’s been hard to ignore. The news in our county here. The local news. Allegations about our county’s sheriff. Accusations of sexual harassment and abuse. I’m not saying I know the entire truth. Only two people probably can say that. The first articles and news stories written months ago were only about the accusations, the claims made by a former employee. Now that a formal investigation has begun there was a statement made, a press release, words uttered by the sheriff himself, the man accused of sexual harassment and abuse of power. The sheriff issued a statement admitting an “incident”. Confessing to an extramarital affair. A “slip of judgement”…
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needy people
The day my friends and I visited Charleston we found street parking near the ice cream shop we wanted to visit. The meter required actual coins and the four of us were digging around in our bags, searching for quarters and coming up mostly empty handed. A lady was standing nearby as we hopped out of the car, wallets opened as we searched. She said words to me but I had no idea what they were. She was rather difficult to understand. I stepped closer to her in an effort to understand what she was saying. The mumbling was so thick her words were basically incoherent. With my ear…
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plate spinning
I guess last week I took an accidental hiatus from writing. And from responding in a timely manner to my emails. I’ve felt a lot like I’ve been swimming underwater and the struggle to “get it all done” has been overwhelming. This is the song a lot of people are singing, I know. Life is full of all the things and the list of people who can do All The Things for you is short. In fact, my list usually feels like there is just one name on it. My own. I’m guessing this is not an incredibly unique feeling that I am describing. Maybe we’re all carrying too…
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Family Values
The idea stemmed from a conversation, a comment to a conversation really. (You never know when what you say will be the seed of an idea or the catalyst for change.) This friend mentioned having a set of family values – a list of what matters in your house. A core. I loved that idea. I’d like to think our family has always had a standard, a set of ideas and theories guiding our actions. But the thought of actually taking the time to verbalize what those are, to write those down, really appealed to me. The kids and I gathered in the library. (That’s what I like to…
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the eclipse from my yard.
I closed my computer sometime around 7 pm Saturday night and I placed it on my desk. I didn’t touch it again until Monday night around 10 pm. That probably shouldn’t be a big deal – or an anything deal. But, since typing out words is what I do for both profit and for pleasure, it kind of was a big deal. In a miniature deal kind of way. A laundry list of events and activity took place over that short time period. Most of it eclipse related. Living in the “path of totality” the hype was paramount. Constant reminders to be aware of the traffic and to…
