before bed . . .
I clean up dinner.
Tidy the living room.
Tuck the kids in
Lock all the doors.
Pause at the sound of the dogs barking.
Wonder if I should be worried.
Stare into the darkness
and contemplate my Aloneness.
I sigh
so deeply I think I might fade into a puddle on my dirty dining room floor when all of my breath is finally expelled.
I feel old.
Independent in the most uncomfortable of ways.
9 Comments
Lana
There are times when this song is everything to me for courage. I hope it blesses you, too.
https://video.search.yahoo.com/video/play;_ylt=A2KLqIGZc_NUcCkA9lX7w8QF;_ylu=X3oDMTByZ2N0cmxpBHNlYwNzcgRzbGsDdmlkBHZ0aWQDBGdwb3MDMg–?p=Chris+Tomlin+the+God+of+Angel+Armies&vid=a9e3a8d5929db9f1d55cbae0fe389f5d&l=5%3A25&turl=http%3A%2F%2Fts3.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DVN.607990919458261890%26pid%3D15.1&rurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dq24z4XcJxnM&tit=Whom+Shall+I+Fear+%5BGod+of+Angel+Armies%5D+%5Bfeat.+Chris+Tomlin%5D&c=1&sigr=11bclmfnk&sigt=11svr1cte&sigi=11rdrv83s&age=1361145158&fr2=p%3As%2Cv%3Av&fr=yhs-invalid&tt=b
Wow that link is long.
Sara
I read your words and weep
With you and
For you.
Your pain is so raw.
So real.
And then
I read the responses
To your words
And again
I weep.
You are not alone.
Not even independent.
Your many years of walking in
faithfulness with our Lord are clearly
evidenced by this
Love Response
I read in your blogs.
There is this
“great cloud of witnesses on earth
and in heaven”
Cheering you on.
Interceding daily at the very
Throne of God for you.
Weeping with you.
Loving. Always loving you.
Hold on to this Truth:
“The Lord will not cast you off
forever.
Though He brings grief, He will show
compassion.
His unfailing love is great.
He does not willingly bring affliction
or grief.”
I love you.
Mary
You ARE strong in the Lord and I am so very proud of you. Now this does not take your loneliness and pain away, but it does impress me how you have handled such a catasophe with such grace.
You are greatly loved and will always be prayed for! We love you and your sweet children!
Rachel
Psalm 6:2-10 keeps coming to my mind:
Have mercy on me, Lord, for I am faint;
heal me, Lord, for my bones are in agony.
3 My soul is in deep anguish.
How long, Lord, how long?
4 Turn, Lord, and deliver me;
save me because of your unfailing love.
5 Among the dead no one proclaims your name.
Who praises you from the grave?
6 I am worn out from my groaning.
All night long I flood my bed with weeping
and drench my couch with tears.
7 My eyes grow weak with sorrow;
they fail because of all my foes.
8 Away from me, all you who do evil,
for the Lord has heard my weeping.
9 The Lord has heard my cry for mercy;
the Lord accepts my prayer.
10 All my enemies will be overwhelmed with shame and anguish;
they will turn back and suddenly be put to shame.
Rhonda F.
“She wasn’t doing a thing I could see, except standing there, leaning on the balcony railing, holding the universe together.” -J.D. Salinger
Bess McCall
I continue to pray for you Lacey.
I wish I could take your hurt away.
Keep loving your precious children.
Hide in the shelter of His wings. He will carry you through because HE will never leave you.
Sunshine Leister
This valley shall I promise come to an end. Until then, when the dark moments come, find where the lily grows. The lady slipper, fragile in beauty, grows close to the stump of a large solid tree. In the darkness, in the shadow, but when you come upon it, the tender, fragile beauty causes the spirit to rise within. Protected from tramping feet and harshness of light, unassuming in it’s power to heal and bring joy, it simply thrives and survives. I live the lily of the valley. And in Christ, who us the Lily of the Valley… So are you. Praying strength and peace in this process.
Laura Erwin
Hugs to you.
Susan Berry
please know you are in my heart and prayers! Wish I lived near to give you a hug and help!