this …..
And I need to write words.
They are a comfort.
A source of sustenance in a lean season.
The silence is frightening.
The noise is overwhelming.
And there is no place I feel okay.
There is no Okay.
Walking through this darkness
Pinpricks of light
and hands stretched out
groping and stumbling
and gasping.
This is my night.
And my day.
Where I sleep
and where I wake.
My drowning and my living.
14 Comments
Sara
And again, apologies to Karen:
God’s Got Me
Despite the hard. the pain.
the darkness that I feel.
He’s got me.
Despite the fear. the hurt.
the long and lonely nights.
He’s got me.
Despite the shame. the tears.
the sadness swamping me.
He’s got me.
In His right hand. -Psalm 139:10
Under His wings. -Psalm17:8
On His palms. -Isa. 49:16
When I fall. -Psalm 37:23,24
In my valleys. -Psalm 23:4
In His thoughts. -Psalm 139:17,18
Day and night. -Psalm 121
When I’m afraid. -Rev 2:10
Kathy Griffith
Your pain, precious Lacey, is so evident to every reader. I wanted to remind you of how the Lord uses words. In Ps56, we see what the Lord does:
“You have kept count of my tossings;
put my tears in your bottle.
Are they not in your book?”
Our precious Father sees how you toss and turn at night, even when no one else does. Our Father counts every hidden tear you cry, because your pain is significant to Him. Our Savior has a book, a journal, where He also uses words to describe the state of your heart, because that is important to Him.
I don’t know your pain, but I know that the Lord is near to you at this very moment. I am praying for you.
karen
‘on your most rebellious, faithless day, your Savior is still being faithful to his plan of forgiving and transforming grace.’ – paul david tripp
God’s got you, lacey. despite the hard, the pain, the darkness that you feel, He’s got you.
Helen
Prayers to you and your family during this time. We don’t know when or how long we will have to endure but….this too shall pass.
Proverbs 3:5-6. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.
shelley
::quiet, earnest prayers for you and all of yours::
Mary
I love you sweet lady and everyday you receive my birthday present to you!
Sara
Dear friend,
In this deep valley God
In the noise and in the silence God
In the desperate nights’ tossings
And in the panicked wakings God
In this great blackness God
In the blindness groping blindly God
In the swelling waves of darkness
And in the heart-wrung gaspings
God
God. Love. God.
Many saints are praying.
Christine Lewis
I am not sure what you are going through, but I know that you are strong and you will get through this. I know you are a child of God’s, and he will be with you every step of the way. I am going through a trial right now as well, and it helps me to think about you and others that need my prayers. I am keeping you on my prayer list sweet lady!
Trish Lattin
Sweet sister. My heart is absolutely breaking for your pain. I have walked your road. It’s a road I’d never want one to travel. The feeling of utter loneliness can easily overtake you. I’m so very sorry. I had young ones as well and many days wished I could hide myself away and curl up and die. It’s too much, I would say. My body racked with the pain.
I share these things because I want you to know that I KNOW. I want you to know that I have wept for you as I have prayed that you would find all your hope in your Father. It’s moment by moment right now sister. Breath by breath. But soon it will be hour by hour and then day by day and then week by week…and so on. God will use you to sho His miracle when you are ready to let Him. Today may not be that time, but it will come. The miraculous! The life! The strength! The joy! It will come my friend. Take it moment by moment right now.
If there is ANYTHING I can do for you, please let me know. I remember that I just wanted to talk to someone who had lived through it and had joy. I never imagined I could. But God my friend. always God. ❤️
Ruth
My heart goes out to you and your precious family. I pray for you often, the Lord is good and faithful.
Theresa G.
I can not even begin to enter into the emotions you are feeling right now, Lacey. Your way of expressing your heart through your writing gives a glimpse. Take courage and know that not only are there friends and family here for you, but the Lord God himself has not left you alone.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned,
Nor shall the flame scorch you.
3 For I am the Lord your God,
The Holy One of Israel, your Savior;”
Isaiah 43:2-3
Rachel
I don’t know you “in real life,” but it appears many who comment do, and it also appears I should add my prayers to theirs. I pray peace and comfort and whatever else it is you need…I miss your words…
Sarah D
Your words are beautiful even in the midst of pain. I know it may be hard or even impossible to see, but I have faith that one day things won’t seem so frightful and dark and you will be walking through more joyful and brighter days. I read these verses this week. Hope they can be of some encouragement (though to be honest I know I personally tend to have a hard heart against the WORD in times of sorrows).
1 Peter 1:6-7
6 In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, 7 so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.
Katie Reagan
Lacey, I know it may not feel like it right now, but you are one of the strongest women I know. I have always been in awe of your love and patience and giving spirit since I met you. I don’t know when, and I don’t know how, but there will be a day when things are better. Just keep swimming.